I want to tell you about Scooter. There have been lots of people in my life who are worth talking about - but my time with Scooter is by far the most entertaining and crazy.
In the Summer of 2013 I was looking for a little extra income. Through a weird string of events I ended up in the office of a local lawyer who had won a huge settlement for a middle aged man named 'Scooter" who'd been hit by a drunk driver. He had been hit while taking a car for a spin to "dry it off" after washing it at the car lot he worked for.
Scooter spent several months in a traumatic brain injury rehab center after almost dying from the accident. By the time I met him, he was in an assisted living facility. Because of the brain damage, he had to be placed in the much more secure Alzheimer’s wing of the home. This is because left to himself, he'd take off and disappear. Not to mention, he had an affinity for shop lifting.
If you met Scooter you would just think he's a little slow. He can walk just fine, even though he has quite a belly, and he still likes to get out and do things he enjoys. He was in his mid fifties when we met. And while he had some brain damage, he still wanted to go out and have fun and be around people he could joke with. We actually kind of clicked.
Back to the lawyer’s office. Since Scooter was basically locked up in the assisted living home and wanted to enjoy life, my job was going to be to take him out a few times a week. I was going to be paid fairly well for easy work, reimbursed for gas, and all my expenses would be paid while I was with Scooter
Here is the job description:
* take him out to eat 3 times a week
* once a week take him to a movie
* once a week take him to do something active
* take him for a walk after each meal for exercise
Pretty sweet gig. But...
Here is the fine print:
* Scooter ONLY eats at Huddle House
* Scooter HATES to go for walks
* Scooter enjoys SHOPLIFTING
* Scooter can't smoke in the assisted living home so he will smoke non-stop when he's with you
* Scooter ONLY likes sci-fi movies
* Scooter thinks it's funny to fart in the car after eating fried eggs at Huddle House
There's lots to tell about Scooter. Like the time he scammed everyone in the Alzheimer’s ward into giving him cash to help pay to cremate his dog (that had died a year earlier and already been cremated). Or how we took said dog's ashes to Huddle House at least once a week. There was also the time he tried to convince the bowling alley manager that the vending machine had eaten his $10 bill - it only took quarters. I'll save these for another time.
For now, I will give you a quick example of how Scooter operated so you have a better understanding of the person I was dealing with.
At the Assisted Living home, there wasn't a ton of privacy. And there certainly wasn't enough privacy for Scooter. Most of the time the nurses wouldn't knock on the doors of the residents’ rooms. They just went on in. Scooter hated this. He fussed and cussed and tried locking the door until finally he had a plan that would fix it once and for all. He decided he would pull his recliner directly in front of the door so that when the door swung open the first thing the nurse would see would be Scooter, butt naked and legs up.
It worked. The nurses knocked from then on.